I have several childhood friends that I considered my "life-long" friends, at least until recently. It seems that our lives are just in completely different places right now. These friends aren't people I speak to often, nor are they people that I see. It's been a tough storm to weather because I never thought I'd be thinking of them as anything other than my "go-to girls."

This realization became even clearer to me after I talked to one of them recently. When I hung up the phone, I was exhausted. It seems that every time we speak, the conversation is very one-sided and about her. I don’t remember the last time she asked me what was happening in my life and worse yet, I don’t remember the last time she expresesd the slightest bit of interest in what was happening in my life. Since we live in different parts of the country, we don’t see one another very often and until recently, I’ve chalked it up to the fact that we do live far from one another. It’s not unusual for me to get a call from her when she’s in the midst of a crisis. Acutally, that is pretty much the only time I hear from her. It’s gotten to a point where I just tune her out and say an occasional “uh-huh” or “really?”

I know it’s normal for friendships to grow and change as we get older or as we are going through different phases in our lives. I suspect that is what has happened with us. But, something about our friendship these days is irreversibly different and I am saddened by that because in a way, it’s the end of a chapter. I sense that this difference is the result of my having undergone some personal growth & change, while she's remained herself. I’ve been going through a metamorphosis of sorts and I’m beginning to realize that I’m a completely different person than I was three years ago, when I started my StrollerFit business. The best part? For the first time in my life, I can say that I like who I am and who I’ve become. I'm more confident, out-going, receptive to new things and, in general, feel comfortable in my skin.

I think right now I’m coming to terms with the fact that perhaps she’s not my best friend anymore and that it’s OK not to have a “best” friend all the time. What scares me is that she’s always been my “go-to” person; you know, the person you wouldn’t hesitate to call at 4am in an emergency. Without her, I don’t know if I have that with my other friends. I am sure it’s there, I’ve just never tested it.

This has been weighing heavily on my mind lately and while I was out doing some errands, my mind started wandering. I was thinking about all the women I’ve met through StrollerFit. Some take classes and some don’t. Some are younger than I am and a few are older. Some have one child, some have two or more. Lastly, and perhaps, most importantly, I’ve concluded is that it’s these moms who are my friends. I were really in a clutch, I know I could call one or two of them at 4am and they’d be there.

I’m reaching a point in my life where my inner circle of friends is dwindling a bit. While scary, it’s also reaffirming. It's forcing me to take a long, hard look at the friendships I have and take inventory. Hard as it is to let go of some of these people, whether it's for a month, 6 months, a year or forever, I'm coming to terms with the fact that each and every one of them brought something to my life that I wouldn't have had otherwise. I'm realizing it's OK to let go and it's also OK to move on.