Songs in the Key of Mommy

It's the night before Macy starts preschool. I am an emotional wreck. I hate to admit it, but I'm going to be that mom who starts bawling when she gets to her car after dropping Macy off tomorrow for her first 2 1/2 hour session of preschool. I mean, what's the big deal, right? I've left her at friends houses for longer than 2 1/2 hours! Why am I so distraught?

I think it's just that I'm facing the reality that I can't keep her as close, you know? I'm going to lose some of my influence now. That scares me. I have always been influenced by the lyrics in certain songs to help pull me through difficult times. Strange as it may sound, though, there aren't any songs I can think of that address this tug on my heart strings.

When I was pregnant, I had a playlist of sorts that I'd listen to over and over again. The songs are those that have special meaning to me. Among the titles are songs like, "Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder and "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride. These two songs, in particular, hold a special place in my heart and I never tire of hearing them. I think of them at times when my daughter, Macy, is being particularly angelic because they remind me to cherish this time I have with her as a toddler. I also find myself thinking of them when she's a handful because these songs ground me. They remind me to give extra hugs & kisses as well as take lots of deep breaths and count to 10, 20 or even 100 on days I don't think I can deal with Macy's 4 year old antics. Case and point: she's on the floor having a temper tantrum as I write this.

We've spent hours in Music Together classes, playing various instruments, singing along to songs, dancing and singing. I always felt rather self-conscious acting so silly with other parents around, but figured, they probably felt the same way. Macy looked forward to her music classes every week and I must admit, my favorite part of each class was the free dance segment. She loved to twirl around and make us both dizzy. I never tire of hearing her giggle and cackle.

Then, there are the songs we sing at StrollerFit. I never realized how much she has picked up over the past 3 years. How I wish I had a copy of the video a friend of a friend took of her during a recent camping trip, leading the other little kids in a "StrollerFit Spectacular" including such hits as, "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" "Twinkle, Twinkle," "The Hokey Pokey" and her personal favorite, "Old McDonald."

I sing to her at night before bedtime. We started out with songs like the Brahm's Lullabye and added things like "Good Night Sweetheart" but the old stand-by is a song I learned as a teenager--"Circle Game" by Joni Mitchell. I've not once heard the Joni Mitchell version of this song, but I sing it to my daughter every night & she will not fall asleep if I don't. It's a special ritual we've established and I treasure it.

I hope that some of the songs she'll sing at preschool will not only be familiar, but also remind her of the time we spent together and will continue spending together as she grows up.